He wanted a wife who would stay by his side, never judge and love with her whole heart. But there were laws against marrying a dog.
He scratched the surface of her heart, but never got past the defenses she put in his way. Eventually, he stopped trying.
Do you think you can make a story out lines like these? (There's more on the bottom of this post.) Then why don't you give it a shot?
Here's the deal:
Pick one of my story tweets (bite sized microfiction churned out and placed on Twitter http://twitter.com/story_tweets ) and write a flashfiction piece (five hundred words maximum) with a story tweet of your choice as the first line/s of your story. When you're finished, put it on your blog or website and send a link to twitter with the hashtag #stcontest. If you don't have a Twitter account, place it on your blog or website and put the link in the comments of this post. If you don't have a blog or website, email me at ade_x@att.net and we'll work something out.
The deadline for this is going to be July 29, 2010.
Prizes:
1st prize: A drawing of a scene from your story printed on a poster (drawn by someone else, since you wouldn't want something drawn my me...Trust me.) and a personalized flash fiction story and poem (written by me, since I can write a lot better than I draw).
2nd Prize: A personalized flash fiction story
3rd place: A personalized poem
http://twitter.com/Story_Tweets
Here's a list of my tweets so far, so you don't have to dig through Twitter to get them. (I'll update this periodically.)
The blood looked even more damning in the spray of the hose. "Just a little more," she muttered to herself. #vss 8:36 PM May 25th via web
Joe's boss waved him over. 'He's finally going to give me that raise!' "Johnson, do you realize you aren't wearing any pants?" #vss 8:34 PM May 25th via web
He scratched the surface of her heart, but never got past the defenses she put in his way. Eventually, he stopped trying. #theprompt #vss 4:41 PM May 24th via web
He decorated his car like a boat, put on an eyepatch and drove around as the "Oily Pete, the freeway pirate." #vss 4:38 PM May 24th via web
The lake froze, but life continued underneath the layer of ice. Billy skated across and tried to imagine what was going on below. #vss 4:18 PM May 23rd via web
The taxidermist re-gifted the dog he had gotten for his birthday thirty years before. His sister didn't speak to him for months. #vss 4:16 PM May 23rd via web
She fought for the life she had already lost and forever tied herself to a world that was bound to forget her. #vss 1:03 PM May 21st via web
Bobby tried to kill time, but temporal police arrested him two days before he even had the idea. #vss 1:01 PM May 21st via web
"Everyone is a slug compared to me," she said, and didn't even realize the slime around her was her own. #vss 4:31 PM May 20th via web
"Is my hair ok?" he asked before taking stage. "Yeah." No one bothered to tell him he wasn't wearing any pants. #vss 4:27 PM May 20th via web
She put on her mommy's shoes, danced around the room, and dreamed of the days ahead. #vss 5:25 PM May 18th via web
"To hell with pickled peppers," Peter Piper said. "I'm going to pick something new!" #vss 5:21 PM May 18th via web
"You're so nice," the woman said. "If I wasn't married, I'd be all over you." The husband sighed and pretended her mind was still there.#vss 7:51 PM May 16th via web
"Excuse me ma'am, is this your finger?" The woman fainted. Kyle grinned. Working at a morgue had its charms. #vss 7:43 PM May 16th via web
He was trained in obscurity, a master of mediocrity. He faded into the background like a well oiled cog. He's you and me. #vss 8:26 PM May 14th via web
"The playground's filled with dirty, whiny, wild little monkeys," Susy said. She was one weird six year old. #vss 8:22 PM May 14th via web
The cat lay curled up on the warm car hood, dreaming of birds. It opened it's eyes when prodded and gave an scolding "Meow." #vss 9:28 PM May 13th via web
John tattooed his girlfriend's name on his chest. Unfortunately, his wife found out. #vss 9:24 PM May 13th via web
The world flew, but Grace pulled forward like a moth stuck in toffee. She looked down at her braces, a reminder of her broken wings. #vss 1:05 PM May 12th via web
Bobby started a pre-chewed food business out his basement. It failed and people stopped coming over for his dinner parties. #vss 1:01 PM May 12th via web
The battle was won and she smiled down at those she trampled. Her victory would be short lived, but it was the journey that mattered. #vss 10:35 PM May 10th via web
She danced to the beat of her own drummer, but it was always on table tops at random bars. #vss 10:32 PM May 10th via web
@wati_ Too bad the world had ended the night before and the air was also swollen with a biotoxin. 11:58 AM May 8th via web in reply to wati_
She said love was blind when she couldn't see and hate was a monster when she roared. The fault was never hers. #vss 1:45 PM May 7th via web
I don't believe in cow tipping. Why should grass eating meat factories get my hard earned money? #vss 1:40 PM May 7th via web
The car broke down, but the baby couldn't wait. By the time the ambulance came, a new life had entered the world. #vss 10:09 PM May 6th via web
Never buys souls over the internet. They're always puny and never taste fresh. #vss 10:07 PM May 6th via web
The cats lost their fur and Mable lost her hair. She picked older cats from the shelter so they would grow old along with her. #vss 4:29 PM May 5th via web
Billy didn't feel like putting on pants today. So he went out in his underwear and claimed to be a maverick. #vss 4:26 PM May 5th via web
Benny Whitman fell out of time on a cold Tuesday morning. He drifted across the years and watched the world forget him. #vss 10:31 PM May 3rd via web
The angel gave up his wings for the love of a lady. Unfortunately, he forgot to ask for a penis. The relationship didn't last. #vss 10:27 PM May 3rd via web
The parade swept down the street and took Mandy's imagination along with it. She sat on her mother's shoulders and was on top of the world. 8:01 PM Apr 28th via web
Billy's didn't attempt the world's record for longest time between showers for the fame. He did it to piss off his wife. #vss 7:59 PM Apr 28th via web
The airport was jammed with people trying to be somewhere else. Billy felt like the only person who appreciated its unique charm. #vss 10:11 PM Apr 27th via web
"I'm sorry, but I don't cut werewolf hair." I frowned at the stylist. Stupid zombies, always so stuck up. #vss 10:09 PM Apr 27th via web
The day grew wider and the possibilities radiated through the window. David got out of bed and took a deep breath. #vss 10:21 PM Apr 26th via web
He wanted a wife who would stay by his side, never judge and love with her whole heart. But there were laws against marrying a dog. #vss 10:19 PM Apr 26th via web
The fog covered the road like a blanket of death, blinding drivers until it was too late. #vss 9:15 PM Apr 25th via web
Jack and Jill sued the hill for its inability to prevent their tumbling. #vss 9:13 PM Apr 25th via web
"You made me do this," he said to the mirror. The blood stained image remained silent. #vss 9:54 PM Apr 24th via web
Billy the Senile Serial Killer was the highest rated children's show in history. #vss 9:54 PM Apr 24th via web
John looked at his life and realized it had passed him by. He tried to grab it back, but only found vapors of memory. #vss 4:21 PM Apr 23rd via web
The pen thought it was mightier than the sword and called the sword's mom a ho. RIP Mr. Pen. #vss 4:19 PM Apr 23rd via web
The day was over, but her mind was not. The hustle of the world never loosened its grip on her soul. #vss 9:00 PM Apr 20th via web
"Did I mention I'm on acid right now?" Not something you want to hear from your skydiving partner. #vss 8:59 PM Apr 20th via web
Marcia's didn't know her parents were different. She assumed every family had human bones in their backyard. #vss 10:25 PM Apr 19th via web
"Billy, why don't you ever wear that nice sweater I knitted you?" "Well Ma, every time I wear it, people mistake me for a crossdresser. #vss 10:21 PM Apr 19th via web
She was like rain, spreading over his soul his soul in soothing drops. But like rain, she was gone when the sun came out. #vss 4:58 PM Apr 16th via web
He fell in love with a bowl of Corn Flakes, but his hunger got the best of him. Now he was a cereal killer. #vss 4:57 PM Apr 16th via web
The parents filed a missing person report and went on with their lives. No one ever questioned them about their missing freezer. #vss 7:32 PM Apr 15th via web
He slammed his hand on the table. "You just don't understand our love!" His father sighed. "You can't love a box of Kleenex, Joe." #vss 7:29 PM Apr 15th via web
He watched the house burned and took a deep breath of the smoky air. It smelled like vindication. #vss 9:20 PM Apr 13th via web
No arms Smith was the world's worst alligator wrangler. #vss 9:19 PM Apr 13th via web
When he came home, police tape decorated his door and the blood of his family painted the walls. #vss 6:24 PM Apr 12th via web
The dog jumped over the moon because the cow was in the hospital after the dish caught him in bed with the spoon. #vss 6:23 PM Apr 12th via web
"He forgot about the lemon, salt and tequila when he remembered the rubbing alcohol in his cabinet." @wati_ 3:56 PM Apr 9th via web
"I didn't mean it." She looked at the mirror and apologized. #vss 6:39 PM Apr 8th via web
"Being a vegetarian doesn't mean you can't eat me," his girlfriend said. #vss 6:37 PM Apr 8th via web
The family shivered in the tent. "Let's just pretend we're camping," the dad said. Lives can't be rebuilt on lies. #vss 7:49 PM Apr 7th via web
"Bears are so cuddly!" Famous last words. #vss 7:47 PM Apr 7th via web
The glass was empty, but she continued to bring it to her lips. Reality was not as sweet as the lemonade she imagined. #vss 10:39 PM Apr 6th via web
Paul's stood up and groaned. "So you like puppies and cakes, but not puppies baked into cakes? I can't win!" #vss 10:38 PM Apr 6th via web
John pulled a prank on his girlfriend by saying they should see other people. "I'm already doing that," she answered. #vss 3:08 PM Apr 1st via web
April Fools Day decided to pull a prank and move to April second. #vss 3:07 PM Apr 1st via web
The baby slept peacefully, unaware of the chaos that surrounded him. An officer picked him up and carried him from the scene. #vss 12:58 PM Mar 25th via web
He knew he shouldn't try to reinvent the wheel, but round was soooo yesterday. #vss 12:51 PM Mar 25th via web
He left her there...broken, bent and bloody. He cleaned the evidence off his car and repaired the dents. No one ever knew. #vss 9:07 PM Mar 18th via web
Jack wasn't nimble, or quick, and those candle sticks always ended up where the sun don't shine. #vss 9:03 PM Mar 18th via web
"Most people are good," the officer said, as he looked at the crime scene. "They just aren't good all the time." #vss 11:56 PM Mar 15th via web
Vince came up with the idea for the edible bong while stoned. He ended up in the hospital after he realized he was eating glass. #vss 11:51 PM Mar 15th via web
The cat knocked the low cal, fat free, no salt diet shake to the ground. Joyce took this as a sign and ordered a pizza. #vss 3:20 PM Mar 14th via web
"Dude, I fed your cat some yarn and kitting needles, but she's not coughing up scarves." Bobby needed a new roommate. #vss 3:07 PM Mar 14th via web
The doctors said Mommy was sick. I pulled myself onto the bed and kissed her cheek, hoping to make it all better. It didn't work. #vss 9:08 PM Mar 11th via web
A case of beer, an old sheet, and a steep cliff. Hello, Darwin Awards. #vss 9:02 PM Mar 11th via web
The figure stood over the bound body, knife raised. "Lord, I thank you for this meal I am about to enjoy. #vss 10:02 PM Mar 6th via web
Frank got drunk and ended up upside down on a patch of poison ivy. it was his best date yet! #vss 9:57 PM Mar 6th via web
"Do you love me?" "No. Does it really matter?" "Not really." #vss 8:29 PM Feb 27th via web
The sock grieved for it's missing pair, torn away during a tragic trip to the washing machine. #vss 8:27 PM Feb 27th via web
Miles sat down on the curb, dreaming of his beloved. Her body, her breath, her blood. He twisted the knife in hands. #vss 9:39 PM Feb 26th via web
"If you love your couch so much, why don't you marry it?" It was the best advice any one ever gave him. #vss 9:32 PM Feb 26th via web
The rooms never echoed with anything other than screams. It was a house of tears, where the damned went to rot. #vss 10:09 PM Feb 24th via web
Billy tripped and landed face first in a field of one-leaf clovers. Today was gonna suck. #vss 10:06 PM Feb 24th via web
Charles sat on the hard motel bed and watched the man grasp his bloody throat. Even the graceful dance of death couldn't cheer him up. #vss 11:10 PM Feb 23rd via web
"American Idol - Mime Edition" never got past the planning stage. #vss 11:06 PM Feb 23rd via web
He grabbed the bat and smashed all his toys. With Mommy and Daddy gone, being a kid wasn't fun anymore. #vss 9:38 PM Feb 22nd via web
Pointing a gun at the audience didn't get the laugh Bo expected. #vss 9:38 PM Feb 22nd via web
When Ally married Joey, she felt like she gotten the watch out of a gumball machine filled with rubber balls. #vss 6:26 PM Feb 21st via web
Floppy the three legged rabbit always failed in life. Why the hell did someone think one of his feet would be lucky? #vss 6:18 PM Feb 21st via web
"Never again. You won't win.This time, I'll be the stronger one." Ray placed the needle back on the table. #vss 8:31 PM Feb 17th via web
"Tell him what he's won!" The doctor pointed at the nurse. "A triple bypass!" she squealed. Billy decided to get a second opinion. #vss 8:28 PM Feb 17th via web
Must read! Sex, Beer and French people! http://www.overidon.com/2010/02/the-life-and-times-of-car-johnson/ 10:04 PM Feb 16th via web
"How can I ever repay you?" he asked. "Just continue loving me," she replied. #vss 10:03 PM Feb 16th via we
Molly's children story wasn't well received. "Cloud, the happy foal who was eviscerated and turned inside out" was ahead of its time. #vss 10:02 PM Feb 16th via web
She came back on Valentine's Day. But it was just a dream and he woke up, alone. #vss 8:42 PM Feb 14th via web
Valentine's Day dinner consisted of beer, nachos and a jar of peanut butter. His mother was touched. #vss 8:41 PM Feb 14th via web
It wasn't anyone's fault, but Gene didn't care. Someone had to pay for his pain. He decided to punish himself. #vss 10:06 PM Feb 13th via web
Hugh Pecker had really mean parents. #vss 10:04 PM Feb 13th via web
His heart was like a clock, wound so tight that it would never run again. #vss 9:45 PM Feb 11th via web
I put my blood sweat and tears in my wife's birthday cake. She wasn't too thrilled when she found some of the blood. #vss 9:44 PM Feb 11th via web
Greg looked at the door. They wouldn't want to see him, not after all these years. He turned but couldn't leave, feet glued to the past.#vss 11:15 PM Feb 10th via web
My beloved shines like the summer sun. I'm in love with a lamp. #vss 11:11 PM Feb 10th via web
I wrote a song out of blood and sang with glass in my mouth. To others, it tasted sweet. #vss 10:29 PM Feb 9th via web
The sun and the earth fell for each other, eloped, and make sweet love that killed every living thing. #vss 10:28 PM Feb 9th via web
The wind ripped through the street, tugging at the broken glass and battered body. He stood in the crowd, trying to be invisible. #vss 10:45 PM Feb 4th via web
A bird in the hand in worth two out of the frying pan and into the night. The blow to the head had scrambled Jim's cliches. #vss 10:40 PM Feb 4th via web
Freed from the paralyzing grip of terror, Janice walked over to her sister. The gun wasn't supposed to be loaded. #vss 9:14 PM Jan 25th via web
The air smelled like old cigarettes, cheap liquor and blood. I loved visiting Grandma. #vss 9:11 PM Jan 25th via web
The fire died down into glowing embers and ash flakes danced through the sky. Now she was his wife forever. #vss 4:00 PM Jan 21st via web
Joe married a magical talking parrot. You do not want to hear about their honeymoon. #vss 3:58 PM Jan 21st via web
He didn't see her face until it was too late. He turned the gun on himself. #vss 9:32 PM Jan 19th via web
Julia Child's ghost haunted the house for no other reason than for me to write "Julia Child's ghost." #vss 9:31 PM Jan 19th via web
When the well went dry, we found the money. It crumpled in our hands. #vss 4:36 PM Jan 18th via web
"It's tastes just like the human liver!" Everyone stared. I really need to work on how I word things. #vss 4:35 PM Jan 18th via web
The hidden trail was overgrown with wildness. The hikers were never found. #vss 10:22 PM Jan 16th via web
The murderer was never caught. No one ever suspects the kitten. #vss 10:20 PM Jan 16th via web
A gun ended his father's life and nearly took his. He ended up in the hospital and his mother ended up in jail. He grew up fast. #vss 9:50 PM Jan 15th via web
Velmer decided that being a door to door gun salesman wasn't such a good idea. #vss 9:46 PM Jan 15th via web
"I didn't live my life to prove anything to anybody," the old man said. "But that doesn't mean I'm not proud that I managed to anyway." #vss 4:07 PM Jan 14th via web
"Where do your expect to be in ten years?" I didn't get the job. How was I supposed to know "In your pants" was a bad answer? #vss 4:01 PM Jan 14th via web
She didn't want peace of mind. Peace of mind took effort and never guaranteed a lack of pain or disappointment. She opted for lack of mind. 2:15 PM Jan 11th via web
Greg pitched a new line of frozen dinners based on serial killers. No one seemed to think people would want to eat "Dahmer Delicacies." #vss 2:12 PM Jan 11th via web
The frogs never came back to the pond after the boy's body was found. It was almost like they knew. #vss 9:11 PM Jan 6th via web
Joe checked in on the focus group and sighed. "Ok ladies, vibrating mascara is supposed to be applied to your EYELASHES!" #vss 9:10 PM Jan 6th via web
Jesse looked down at the ashes. Fire didn't cleanse, it burned. #vss 9:53 PM Jan 5th via web
John decided that "break a leg" wasn't such a good thing to say to someone about to bungee jump. #vss 9:52 PM Jan 5th via web
Coffins shouldn't be that small. #vss 8:53 PM Jan 4th via web
It would have never have happened if sandpaper came with a warning that said "Do not use as toilet paper." #vss 8:52 PM Jan 4th via web
"Why is the world such a mess," he asked the sage. "You want it that way," he replied. "Without hate, you wouldn't be able to hurt others." 7:40 PM Dec 31st, 2009 via web
"Ma, this stew tastes funny!" "For the last time not your mother, and that's not stew, it's an unflushed toilet!" #vss 7:36 PM Dec 31st, 2009 via web
The days slurred into nights as Molly downed yet another shot. Mr. Whiskey was a faithful friend. #vss 9:46 PM Dec 30th, 2009 via web
There had never been anything like it. With good reason. "Baby's first arson kit" would never sell. #vss 9:45 PM Dec 30th, 2009 via web
Christmas gifts piled around the tree like living debris, waiting to be unwrapped so they could become proper clutter. #vss 9:06 PM Dec 23rd, 2009 via web
Mom always wrapped herself up for Daddy at Christmas time. I just wish she waited for us to leave before she had him unwrap her. #vss 9:02 PM Dec 23rd, 2009 via web
The darkness pressed in on him like a tomb. He felt his way to the scent of burning flesh. He found his mother's remains in the ruins. #vss 10:59 PM Dec 22nd, 2009 via web
Billy's dad never left him roast marshmallows when they went camping. Try and burn the cat ONE time...#vss 10:56 PM Dec 22nd, 2009 via web
The holiday season showed everyone that everyone else mattered too. The rest of the year, they didn't give a shit. #vss 11:30 AM Dec 22nd, 2009 via web
Joe hugged his wife, wearing nothing but a bow on his head. "I'm your gift this year," he said. "Is it too late to return you?" she replied. 11:29 AM Dec 22nd, 2009 via web
There were no dreams in Hell, only endless memories, culled from pain and regret. Mike wasn't dead. His hell was his mind. #vss 11:17 PM Dec 19th, 2009 via web
"I will die before I give in to the likes of you!" This would have more impressive if it wasn't uttered about a can of cream soda. #vss 11:12 PM Dec 19th, 2009 via web
"The day's not over. Let us dance." I wanted to, but all I could see was the gaping wound in his chest. I was done with pretending. #vss 11:13 PM Dec 18th, 2009 via web
His first words were "sue" and "lawyer". We should have known we were doing something wrong. #vss 11:10 PM Dec 18th, 2009 via web
The end wasn't the beginning. Not this time. #vss 9:46 PM Dec 17th, 2009 via web
"I dare you to drink that battery acid." Being a serial killer was easier than most people realized. #vss 9:45 PM Dec 17th, 2009 via web
"Don't die on me!" She did. "Why did you leave me?" She didn't answer. "I can't live without you!" He learned how. #vss 10:32 PM Dec 16th, 2009 via web
The fish smelled rotten and the bread had mold on it. He threw them out. How was he supposed to know it they were cultural delicacies? #vss 10:30 PM Dec 16th, 2009 via web
"I was murdered before and I don't plan to make the same mistake again. Back off." I did as she said. #vss 8:52 PM Dec 15th, 2009 via web
Jonny tried his stand up on his mother before the big night. Too bad most of the jokes were about her and her many warts. #vss 8:49 PM Dec 15th, 2009 via web
Scattered thoughts / balloon / rising #poetry 1:40 PM Dec 11th, 2009 via web
Night loved his mistress Day and when they loved, reality was born. When they fought, it was killed. Eventually they fought eternity away. 11:26 PM Dec 10th, 2009 via web
"Would you like fries with that?" The woman slapped Joe and stormed out. Changing from a fast food worker to casket salesman was tough. #vss 11:22 PM Dec 10th, 2009 via web
The frost on the trees twinkled like fire in the slowly rising dawn. Nature always had the best Christmas decorations. #vss 10:00 PM Dec 9th, 2009 via web
"Do you I Pam take Doug, to be your husband? To have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer - ".Pam blinked. "How poor?" 9:57 PM Dec 9th, 2009 via web
The crunch bore down on his ears like glass. The smell turned his nose inside out and tugged his stomach to the tip of his tongue. #vss 9:58 PM Dec 8th, 2009 via web
Joel got down on his knees and wrapped his arms around his future bride. She had no clue who the hell he was. The police were unamused. #vss 9:52 PM Dec 8th, 2009 via web
Love and lust swirled around like a windstorm, pulling him in too many directions to think. He never even knew which way he chose. #vss 10:44 PM Dec 7th, 2009 via web
Joey wasn't the sharpest pencil in the pack. He once went to an AA meeting and asked if they would change a tire on his car. #vss 10:38 PM Dec 7th, 2009 via web
His heart was made of clay, but filled with acid. Woe to those who broke it. #vss 8:41 PM Dec 6th, 2009 via web
Billy swept up the broken beer bottles that littered the floor of the gallery. The cops were called to find who stole the new exhibit. #vss 8:38 PM Dec 6th, 2009 via web
The pain in his head was better than the gnaw at his heart. Anything he went through now couldn't compare to what he had done to the world. 10:48 PM Dec 4th, 2009 via web
"The night has beaten the day in a fiery blaze!" Bob slapped Jim in the head. "Stop being so dramatic. It's just a fucken sunset!" #vss 10:45 PM Dec 4th, 2009 via web
"If you tell me you love me, I'll give you the world," Janet said. He sighed. "I already have the world. What I want is your soul." #vss 10:57 PM Dec 3rd, 2009 via web
He left the earth just as he entered it...Squalling his eyes out and covered in goo. #vss 10:49 PM Dec 3rd, 2009 via web
She laid there, a shell left over after cancer had eaten its fill. I left the room and never went back. First experience with death. #vss 10:21 PM Dec 1st, 2009 via web
"Your hair smells nice." Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say while performing a gynecological exam. #vss 10:16 PM Dec 1st, 2009 via web
"Why did Mommy have to die?" Part of being a parent is answering your child's questions. There was nothing I could say to this. #vss 9:23 PM Nov 27th, 2009 via web
"If there's a will, there's an angry relative and lots of booze." My grandmother always knew just what to say. #vss 9:19 PM Nov 27th, 2009 via web
The chest lay crumpled on the valley floor, memories shattered for the winds to carry away. They had their memorial and he had his. #vss 10:05 PM Nov 21st, 2009 via web
Joel was given the gift the see the future, but it only ruined the end of movies. #vss 10:00 PM Nov 21st, 2009 via web
He ran away from everything, even his name. He wasn't on the lam, he just needed a change of pace. But life was life, wherever one went.#vss 9:57 PM Nov 18th, 2009 via web
The air was crisp with an autumn chill and the sky was a sheet of silky black cloth. Godzilla stomped like a...wait...Oh shit! #vss 9:54 PM Nov 18th, 2009 via web
"Did you ever believe me," she asked, tears welling in her eyes. "I never even listened to you," he said. #vss 10:26 PM Nov 17th, 2009 via web
Julie rolled her eyes. "Saying you suck to a vampire isn't that much of an insult." #vss 10:24 PM Nov 17th, 2009 via web
The fire raged, burning his past to ash. He walked away, ready to lead a life not stained with blood. He would fail, of course. #vss 8:27 PM Nov 15th, 2009 via web
"How many roads can a man walk down?" he asked. "A hell of a lot if he never asks for directions," she replied. #vss 8:25 PM Nov 15th, 2009 via web
The cell had no walls, but the world outside was a land of nightmares. Vick didn't dare step through. #vss 9:49 PM Nov 13th, 2009 via web
He wanted to build a castle in the sky. No matter how many bricks he threw up in the air, none of them stuck. #vss 9:45 PM Nov 13th, 2009 via web
Dust had taken up residence in the house, fading the past like and old photograph that no one ever looked at. Some things don't last. #vss 10:26 PM Nov 12th, 2009 via web
"I was arrested for walking down the street," he said. "Of course, I was naked and had a bomb strapped to my stomach."#vss 10:18 PM Nov 12th, 2009 via web
"I need a reason to do that," Sue said and stayed where she was. "Doing that is the reason," the Fran said and got off her butt. #vss 9:17 PM Nov 11th, 2009 via web
Hugh wasn't tech savvy. The last portable phone he had owned was a cup with a string attached. #vss 9:11 PM Nov 11th, 2009 via web
He couldn't win her back, and he couldn't move forward. So he stood in place, and replaced his love with beer. @vss 10:45 PM Nov 10th, 2009 via web
People liked chocolate and people liked steaks, but steak flavored chocolate never caught on. #vss 10:43 PM Nov 10th, 2009 via web
Everyone loved to listen to Grandpa's stories. His words were like verbal Valium and lulled their brains into rest. #vss 11:27 PM Nov 7th, 2009 via web
He never got his three wishes. Maybe he shouldn't a genie that lived in a six foot tall lamp that said "Porta John" on the side. #vss 11:20 PM Nov 7th, 2009 via web
Anger was the drug and revenge was the syringe. He'd had a taste and now he was hooked. #vss 9:20 PM Nov 6th, 2009 via web
It was love at first sight. Or it should have been. She was blind and he was looking at his I-pod. They never met again. #vss 9:16 PM Nov 6th, 2009 via web
The Sandman spent his nights tossing thoughts into dozing minds, but he had no dreams of his own. #vss 11:08 PM Nov 5th, 2009 via web
No one told John that even though good guys finish last, guys that don't bathe never get to race. #vss 11:06 PM Nov 5th, 2009 via web
"Tell me again how we met." Alzheimer's stole his memories away every morning and so she returned them each night. #vss 9:40 PM Nov 4th, 2009 via web
Hubert knew he hit rock bottom when his mother called his wife her daughter and started to introduce him as her son-in-law. #vss 9:37 PM Nov 4th, 2009 via web
The creature walked over to the body. The group backed away. "Murderer," someone said. It laughed. "I didn't do this. You did." #vss 9:43 PM Nov 3rd, 2009 via web
Doug smiled and tried to explain. "Honey, I said I wanted to do your sister, not that I would."The shoe needed to be surgically removed.#vss 9:34 PM Nov 3rd, 2009 via web
The answer rushed out so fast, it didn't realize the question wasn't it's mommy. The question's real child was never found.#vss 11:35 PM Nov 2nd, 2009 via web
How many ways can you annoy a lion? Paul couldn't get past number one.#vss 11:31 PM Nov 2nd, 2009 via web
The kids all stayed away from the frightening old house, but one Halloween they got brave. It was empty. What a disappointment. #vss 8:20 PM Oct 31st, 2009 via web
He gave each kid that came to his house a picture of his mother in law and said, "This is what all that candy will do to you."#vss 8:14 PM Oct 31st, 2009 via web
He tried to remember her smile and realized that she didn't have one. It was time to move on. #vss 11:19 PM Oct 30th, 2009 via web
Crapping on bald heads wasn't enough anymore. The birds learned to fly upside down. Skydivers were toast. #vss 11:14 PM Oct 30th, 2009 via web
Grief catapulted them away from one another and into the arms of strangers. Their shattered lives were scattered to the winds. #vss 10:44 PM Oct 29th, 2009 via web
I would do anything to protect you, my love. Unless it involves danger, pain, embarrassment, or diarrhea. On second thought, forget it. #vss 10:42 PM Oct 29th, 2009 via web
There were no children anymore. The abandoned school yard was a testament to what once was. Only dust played there now. #vss 10:58 PM Oct 28th, 2009 via web
His bologna needed a first name. He saved it from his sandwich and would raise like his own. He settled on Hammy. #vss 10:56 PM Oct 28th, 2009 via web
The coffin held memories, cold flesh was a unseen shrine. The frozen grimace said nothing, because no one had been there to hear. #vss 10:16 PM Oct 27th, 2009 via web
The frog used to be a prince, but there was no princess to kiss him. She had been turned into a rat. Their offspring were freaky. #vss 10:11 PM Oct 27th, 2009 via web
Greg saved up his money for a truck. He stored it under his bed, a nickle at a time. Sometimes his Mommy gave him a dollar. #vss 11:00 PM Oct 26th, 2009 via web
Jessica couldn't resist a sale. The sign said: "Half off Rectal Exams!" #vss 10:54 PM Oct 26th, 2009 via web
Ghosts roamed the halls of the house, unaware of each other. They didn't even realize they were still alive. #vss 9:17 PM Oct 25th, 2009 via web
Sally had horrible luck with love, so she invented a virtual man. He hacked into her bank account and ran off with her word processor. #vss 9:13 PM Oct 25th, 2009 via web
Her heart sung him into being. He was distilled longing concentrated love and filtered bitterness. He lived in the back of her mind. #vss 10:18 PM Oct 24th, 2009 via web
He called his mother collect. It was Mother's Day. She lived in a retirement center. It didn't go over too well. #vss 10:14 PM Oct 24th, 2009 via web
The lies were lost in the sweetness of her words. The world listened and wanted more. Just another bringer of death. #vss 10:47 PM Oct 23rd, 2009 via web
Our office hired a zombie. He went after the less productive employers and our productivity went through the roof. #vss 10:45 PM Oct 23rd, 2009 via web
Vines snagged around the bodies and anchored them in place. The two lovers had fought to be together and gotten their wish. #vss 10:50 PM Oct 22nd, 2009 via web
The fruitcake was tired of being the punchline. Now was the time for revenge. He'd force to whole world to eat him. #vss 10:49 PM Oct 22nd, 2009 via web
The sky had been gray for weeks. Even the trees were subdued. Jessie didn't mind. The weather was not her barometer for joy. #vss 5:26 PM Oct 21st, 2009 via web
Fred always wanted to be a superstar. He put up a video on Youtube and waited for the accolades. He got "OMG U suk" instead. #vss 5:24 PM Oct 21st, 2009 via web
Gasp. Asthma attacks. Inhaler fails. Ambulance races. Allergy found. #vss 9:28 PM Oct 20th, 2009 via web
See Dick. See Dick be a dick. See Jane kick Dick's dick. Ouch. #vss 9:26 PM Oct 20th, 2009 via web
Now was the time to act. He did nothing. #vss 11:26 PM Oct 19th, 2009 via web
There goes Sally, with her long, hair, long legs and long breasts. Eighty year olds should not wear bikini tops. #VSS 11:24 PM Oct 19th, 2009 via web
He lost his wife, kids, house, and car. I tried to cheer him up with a balloon dog.He wasn't impressed. Maybe I should have made a cat.#TCTC 3:23 PM Oct 18th, 2009 via web
The day was hot and the tea was cold. The air buzzed with insect music and she closed her eyes and listened. #TCTC 3:18 PM Oct 18th, 2009 via web
He trained for years and finally attempted the triathlon. He didn't even make it out of the car. One more thing he never finished. #TCTC 3:14 PM Oct 18th, 2009 via web
My mother always said I was smart. She also claimed her glass figurines spoke to her and that she could fly. Oh well. #TCTC 3:10 PM Oct 18th, 2009 via web
The days grew shorter and we hoped for rain. The rain never came. We had to go back. #TCTC 12:42 PM Oct 17th, 2009 via web
He went to the past, but changed nothing. He went to the future, but missed it all. He came back the present and gained everything. #TCTC 12:39 PM Oct 17th, 2009 via web
The ice encased the branches. The snow blanketed the valley. Little tracks went up the hill. The only sound was children's laughter. #TCTC 12:36 PM Oct 17th, 2009 via web
"Fish don't speak." They always say this, but I know it's not true. I am one with the bowl. Goldy told me so. #TCTC 12:32 PM Oct 17th, 2009 via web
The light was different now. Everything glowed with possibilities. She walked forward, ready to take on the world. #TCTC 12:16 PM Oct 17th, 2009 via web
The ventriloquist threw his voice at random people in the subway. One man got pissed. That's not coming out in the wash, buddy. #TCTC 12:13 PM Oct 17th, 2009 via web
She sat by the window, face stuck in a grimace, thoughts locked behind steel doors. Now he had the perfect wife. #TCTC 2:40 PM Oct 16th, 2009 via web
The poor med student brought home cadaver bits for his dinner. Top Ramen was just too bland. #TCTC 2:38 PM Oct 16th, 2009 via web
She heard a child crying in the dark. She went to him. He had no face. He took her's. #TCTC 4:00 PM Oct 15th, 2009 via web
He was born on a Tuesday and died on a Friday. Nothing much happened in between. #TCTC 3:57 PM Oct 15th, 2009 via web
The dim light made sinister shadows on the blood covered walls. The wind outside was the tittering of demons. Joe rocked in the corner.#TCTC 10:36 PM Oct 14th, 2009 via web
He tried to stand on his head, but he had enough trouble standing on his feet. He landed in a pile of manure on the side of the road. #TCTC 10:33 PM Oct 14th, 2009 via web
The anger drifted away, leaving behind another mess for me to clean up. #TCTC 9:17 PM Oct 13th, 2009 via web
"The cat would look better shaved." Beer and electric razors don't mix. #TCTC 9:15 PM Oct 13th, 2009 via web
The day just wasn't the same now that night never came. #TCTC 7:08 PM Oct 12th, 2009 via web
"I finally stole her heart," he said to the psychiatrist. "That's why you're in prison," the man replied. #TCTC 7:07 PM Oct 12th, 2009 via web
If life was a freeway, Clyde was was the emergency callbox, his wife was the accident and his parents were the gawkers. #TCTC 10:13 PM Oct 11th, 2009 via web
How was I supposed to know German Chocolate Cake wasn't supposed to contain real Germans? #TCTC 10:08 PM Oct 11th, 2009 via web
The only way out was up. The only way up was impossible. The body was never found. #TCTC 10:32 PM Oct 10th, 2009 via web
Fred knew he had a problem when his therapist started to wear a clown suit to their sessions. #TCTC 10:30 PM Oct 10th, 2009 via web
Jesse tried reminding herself that other people had feelings, but it just ruined her fun. #TCTC 11:30 PM Oct 8th, 2009 via web
The cliche walked down the road to nowhere to find it's place in the sun. But it just found itself up a creek without a paddle. #TCTC 11:25 PM Oct 8th, 2009 via web
We expected fireworks. The world ended with a sputter. #TCTC 11:01 PM Oct 7th, 2009 via web
There would never be anyone else like him. Except for that cute Cuban barista. Too bad he's gay. #TCTC 10:57 PM Oct 7th, 2009 via web
She took him for an ice cream and left him at her mother's. Joe hated rocky road ever since. 11:05 AM Oct 5th, 2009 via web
The police came, but we hid the severed finger in the sugar bowl. The family reunion was going pretty good so far. 11:02 AM Oct 5th, 2009 via web
He asked a question and received an answer. It didn't seem so strange at the time. 6:17 PM Oct 3rd, 2009 via web
Jill never new what hit her. She wasn't hurt, she just wasn't that smart. 6:13 PM Oct 3rd, 2009 via web
The dawn had come, and Shannon still stood. The battle had been lost, but she had won her life. It was the only prize she cared about now. 7:58 PM Oct 2nd, 2009 via web
William longed for the innocent days of youth, minus the innocence. Playgrounds filled with dirt bikes and ice cream trucks carrying rum. 7:54 PM Oct 2nd, 2009 via web
The air grew still around us. I tried to say something, but the words fell to the ground. I knew it was hopeless. The dead do not speak. 10:37 PM Oct 1st, 2009 via web
"There's always a reason for candy, but not for candy coated in arsenic." I wish I had listened to that advice. 10:25 PM Oct 1st, 2009 via web
The man continued to weed his garden of ice. 4:48 PM Sep 30th, 2009 via web
"My water broke!" We were in the car. My leather seats! I opened the door. "Get out." 9:37 PM Sep 29th, 2009 via web
Dog bites man. Man bites dog. Cat pees on both. 9:56 PM Sep 27th, 2009 via web
She had gotten her wish. The day before the accident repeated forever and she could never be parted from her love. How boring. 10:06 PM Sep 26th, 2009 via web
The birds sailed overhead. Joe wished he had a hat. 9:35 PM Sep 25th, 2009 via web
She said he would see beyond the world. He never even saw himself. 9:29 PM Sep 25th, 2009 via web
